Sunshine
by Keitorin Asthore
Summary: It's his last night with us before he leaves for America. And he didn't even say goodbye! Yohna. Oneshot. COMPLETE.


Disclaimer: Shaman King belongs to Hiroyuki Takei and Shonen Jump, not me.

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Seven o'clock. No Yoh.

Eight o'clock. No Yoh.

Nine o'clock. Still no Yoh.

By ten o'clock I gave up. The food was cold. I had missed my favorite show. And Tamao was trying desperately not to cry, which made her look like a rabbit during allergy season. I sent her to bed- mostly to get her sobby little face away from me. I'm not saying what the other reason was.

I stacked the dishes by the sink and turned on the hot water. The soap foamed over my hands as I scrubbed the plates and pots and pans furiously, reddening my palms and ripping my fingernails.

Stupid Yoh! Stupid, stupid, stupid! Why would he just ignore me- I mean us. Me and Tamao. After all, Tamao is like his little sister. And I'm- well, never mind about me.

A little drop fell with a tiny splash into the pot I was scrubbing. I'm telling you, we need to fix that leaky faucet.

He was so sweet the night before- taking me out on a walk with him. I didn't even care that I was half frozen. I was as moony as Tamao about being alone with him. And then when he bought me the drink…I still have the can hidden my room.

I did not just say that.

I was still ranting mentally when I reached for a plate and realized I had none left. I wished I still did. Then maybe I could catch him as he walked in the door.

That boy is in for the lecture of his life. With a slap or five mixed in.

I have never moved so slowly before. I scoured the kitchen, cleaning up every last square inch of that room until it shone like the top of the Chrysler building. By the time I was finished, my face was flushed and my kerchief was slipping off my head, but it sparkled.

But Yoh wasn't home yet.

I went upstairs and peeked in on Tamao. She was fast asleep, looking cute and little-girlish with the tiny good luck charm she'd gotten for Yoh clutched in her hands.

Cute is not a word used to describe me. Neither is little-girlish.

I changed into my yukata and brushed my teeth. Routine things. Usually I'm interrupted during the dressing stage by Yoh banging on the door, asking me if I know where he put his yukata. Honestly. Every night. And usually he brushes his teeth the same time as me, so we have a few minutes together. Even if we both look like rabid dogs with toothpaste dribbling down our faces.

I left the bathroom, but I paused by Yoh's door. Maybe he came home already. Maybe I missed him while I was brushing my teeth. I tap the door open.

Still empty.

His things are strewn everywhere. His futon has been lying out all day. His record player is still open. Records are lying in semi-organized heaps on the floor. Yes, his room is empty, but not abandoned.

My room is so clean it's painful. I kicked my dress across the floor, just to make it look a little more lived-in. By now it's eleven o'clock. Do I know where my Yoh is? No.

Is he even my Yoh?

Folded neatly on my desk was the outfit I made for him. Slowly I stood and unfolded it, studying it. It's not much. Just a simple training outfit. And it's certainly not romantic.

Romantic is also a word not used to describe me.

Tomorrow Tamao will give Yoh her good luck talisman. I don't begrudge her that. It will reassure her anxiety to know that Yoh has a little piece of her with him, and that it will protect him.

So every time Yoh will see the talisman, he'll think, "Oh, look at that! Tamao gave that to me. How sweet of her." And every time Yoh puts on the outfit I made him, he'll think, "This is the same training gear I wore when I was five. This is so embarrassing."

I curled up on the window ledge and stared into the moonlight, holding his clothes against me. That was when I saw him, walking alone up the drive. I checked the clock. Half past eleven.

Thwick. Creak. Thwick.

That was the door sliding open and closed.

Clunk. Clunk.

That was Yoh kicking his shoes off.

Tap. Squeak. Tap. Squeak. Tap. Squeak. Tap. Squeak. Tap. Squeak.

That was Yoh walking up the stairs.

Thwick. Creak. Pause. Splash. Creak. Thwick.

That was Yoh changing into his yukata and brushing his teeth. He found his yukata on his own this time; I hung it on the door for him.

My heart pounded as I heard his footsteps in the hall. He passed by the guestroom, by Tamao's room…

…by my room…

Thwick. Creak. Thwick. Fwump.

That was Yoh going into his own room and flopping into bed.

That was it?

I clenched my fists. Ooh, there were going to be so many slaps in this lecture…

Furious, I swept up Yoh's new outfit without bothering to fold it and stormed down the hall to his room. I flung open the door.

And every ranting phrase of my newest lecture flew right out of my head.

I hate it when that happens.

He looked so sweet. Of course, I knew he was still awake. It was kind of cute, the way he thought he could outsmart me.

For a moment I just stood in his doorway, clenching and unclenching my fists as I tried desperately to say something, anything, that would make him feel guilty. No sufficient zingers came to mind.

"I can't believe you came straight home without saying goodbye to me," I finally said. I tossed his clothes at him, and he started in surprise. "There's the new clothes I made for you. Make sure you get up on time."

I stood there for another moment or two. My mind kept screaming to me. Say something else, say something else.

_Tell him the truth._

I opened my mouth, but the words choked in my throat. I left Yoh's room and closed the door behind me. I stood in the hall, staring at the floor. I'd done it now. I'd lost my last chance. I screwed it up last night, and I screwed it up tonight.

At twelve o'clock, I began to cry.

I promise I hadn't meant to. I hadn't cried in a long time. But as I curled up in the little chair in my bedroom, the weight of my thoughts pressed me down until the tears just had to come.

It started with one tiny, raspy sob that made my lungs constrict. Then the tears started to form in my eyes, and I sobbed again. Soon the tears were dripping through my fingers as I covered my face with my hands.

Look, the ice princess is melting.

I don't know how long I was sitting there, crying. I had tried to be quiet, but I forgot. It's kind of hard to remember things when you're crying.

At twelve-thirty, I felt a hand rest on my shoulder.

I gasped so hard I sucked in a teardrop or two. My mouth tasted salty as I finally sputtered out, "Tamao! Don't scare me like that!"

And then I realized that wasn't Tamao behind me.

I froze, staring at my wet hands. The hand was much bigger than mine, with calluses on the palm and fingertips. The thumb of the hand began to stroke the back of my neck gently.

I rolled my shoulder, shaking the hand away. "You have some nerve," I spat out.

"Anna, I-"

"Do you have any idea how upset Tamao was?" I continued, cutting him off as I dried my tears as unobtrusively as I could. "I sent her to bed sobbing because you didn't come home. We- I mean, she worked so hard to make a nice goodbye dinner for you, but you were so busy with your friends you couldn't be bothered to come home."

"Was she the only one who went to bed sobbing?" he asked.

There was a moment of silence. "Yes," I said.

"It's wrong to lie, Anna," he told me, a bit playfully. "I think you forgot how thin the walls are in this house. I heard everything."

"You heard the wind outside," I said.

"The wind sounds like a sad little girl crying?"

"I'm not a sad little girl."

"There are tearstains on your yukata, Anna."

"I just washed my face. I spilled some water."

"Why does your voice sound raspy?"

"The soap got in my mouth."

"Why does my training gear smell like your perfume?"

He had me there.

"I don't wear perfume," I finally said.

"Yes, but it still smells like you do," he said. "Soft and sweet and delicate." The hand touched the back of my neck lightly. "I'm sorry for leaving you two alone tonight."

"It's all right," I said. No, it wasn't. I'm now a pathological liar. "You're going to miss your friends. You needed to have fun with them. You don't need to suffer through a dinner with me- I mean, Tamao and I." I tried to stifle the lump rising rapidly in my throat, but that was a bad idea. It caused all the tears I was suppressing to come out in a rush, accompanied by a very uncharacteristic snort. He turned my chair around slowly. I kept my head eyelevel with his knees.

"You look pret-ty sad," he said, a gentle smile in his voice. "Come with me. I'll get you cleaned up." Before I could jerk away, he took me by the wrist and dragged me- rather unwillingly- to the bathroom.

I still didn't look him in the eyes as I stood barefoot on the cold tile floor. He ran the cold water over a soft cloth, then turned it off and wrung it out. "Look up."

I refused.

He grasped my chin gently and tipped my face towards his. For the first time I realize how much taller he is than me. He's grown.

And I'd never realized how beautiful Yoh's eyes are.

Yoh touched my hot, tearstained face with the washcloth. The cold water feels good…and so does his touch. I closed my eyes happily without realizing it.

"Anna, I really am sorry," he said. "I had no idea that you…you and Tamao would make such a big deal about me leaving."

My eyes flew open. "What did you think we would do?" I asked, knowing full well that my eyes are snapping. He cringed a little. "Did you think we would throw a party in gleeful joy that you were finally gone?"

_Tell him! Tell him!_

This time I obey my thoughts.

"I'm going to miss you, Yoh," I said softly.

He stopped cringing. And he smiled at me. I swear his smile could melt stone. "I'm going to miss you, too," he said. "And I'm not just saying that. I mean it." Yoh rinsed out the washcloth and hung it over the faucet to dry. I twisted my fingers together and suddenly took a great interest in the pattern of the floor tiles.

What do you say after these kinds of declarations?

"Anna," Yoh said tentatively.

Oh, jeely klein. He's about to ask me some strange and outlandish and entirely out the blue question…

"Will you sleep with me tonight?" he blurted out.

I'm right.

I raised an eyebrow. "We're a little young for that, Yoh," I said.

He blushed furiously. "No, not like that!" he hastened to reassure me. "I mean sleeping with me as in lying in the same bed next to each other. Fully clothed. I'm not trying to suggest- oh, crap, um-"

"Okay."

"-oh, my mother's gonna kill me- what?" Yoh stopped dancing around in anxiety and peeked at me through his fingers. "What was that?"

"I said okay," I told him. Now it's my turn to feel awkward. "I'll sleep with you tonight."

"Oh." was his only answer. "Oh. Okay." Yoh glanced around, as if he didn't know what to do next, and then just walked to his room.

There was nothing for me to do but follow him.

Yoh climbed into bed first, on the left side. I slipped in beside him on the right.

There was a long, long silence.

If I closed my eyes, I could just pretend I was in my own bed. But there was a faint warmth from his body at my side. At one point I tried to get in a more comfortable position, and my leg kicked against his.

"Sorry," I murmured.

"It's okay," he murmured back.

And, once again, there was a lot of silence.

"I've never shared a bed with anyone before," I blurted out.

Oh, that was clever. And so mature sounding. The next thing you'll know I'll be admitting that I- never mind.

But Yoh turned over to look at the back of my head. "You've never shared a bed before?" he asked. "Didn't you ever snuggle with your mom when you were really little and there was a scary thunderstorm outside?"

"I might've," I shrugged. "I really don't remember."

"I remember when I was little," Yoh reminisced. "It always made me feel better if I was sick or scared, just to know that someone was with me."

I turned over. His eyes were dark and thoughtful. "Is that why you asked me to sleep with you tonight?" I asked him.

He looked up. "Will you make fun of me if I say yes?"

"Of course not," I said. "I…I know what it's like to lie awake, all alone. And scared."

"Do little ice queens get scared?" Yoh asked.

I tilted my head down, my forehead brushing against his chin. "Yes," I said. "I'm- I'm scared now."

"About what?"

"You'll laugh."

"No, I won't," Yoh promised. "Tell me, Anna."

"I'm afraid that you won't come home," I confessed quietly. "I'm afraid that I'll be sitting at home, all alone, and I'll hear a knock on the door. And when I answer it, it'll be one of your friends. It doesn't matter which one; they're always the same. He'll stand there and stare at his shoes for a minute, stuttering, until he finally blurts out that he's so sorry, but you're gone." The tears are burning against my eyelids as I remember. "And then it always ends the same. I cry. I cry and I cry and I cry, and no one comes to comfort me. No one at all." My shoulders shake twice.

"Oh, Anna," Yoh whispers. "Is this your nightmare?"

"Yes," I told him. "I have the same dream at least once a week. It's always the same."

He's quiet. Maybe this scares him, this sudden outburst of mine. I start to get up.

"My mother taught me the best way to comfort someone who has an nightmare," Yoh said softly. "You have to put your arm around them, sort of like a half-hug." He slid his arm in the little gap between my neck and the pillow, underneath my shoulders. "Then you place your hand on them." Yoh put his hand on my shoulder. I was extremely close to him now, my hands in half-closed fists resting against his warm chest.

"Anything else?" I whispered.

"One more thing." Yoh rested his cheek against my forehead. "You are my sunshine," he sang softly. "my little sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sweet sunshine away."

If I had died right then and there, I would have died the happiest girl in the world.

Yoh brushed his lips against my forehead. "Is the nightmare all gone, honey?" he whispered in my ear.

"Mm-hm," I nodded, pressing a tiny kiss against his ear. His arms tightened around me. "And what about you, Yoh? Are you scared too?"

"You bet," he said.

I have never tried to comfort anyone in my life. Usually I cause people to need comforting. But I decided to try.

I snuggled up against Yoh, nestling my head between the pillow and his chin. My arms sneaked around his neck, drawing him to me. His body trembled slightly. I wondered why.

And then three hot teardrops dripped down the back of my neck.

"It's going to be okay, Yoh," I murmured in his ear. My fingers tangled in the thick, silky hair at the nape of his neck. "As long as I have any say in it, you're going to be okay."

He kissed my cheek. "Have I ever told you that I love you?" he sighed.

"No," I said.

Yoh kissed my other cheek. His lips were soft and warm and a little chapped. "I love you, Anna."

We fell asleep in each other's arms.

I think I'll forgive him for coming home late.

No slaps involved.

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**Author's Notes:  
**An oldie but a goodie. I like how this one turned out.

This is an offshoot of the scene in the manga when Yoh leaves for America; some of the dialogue was taken directly from the book.

I gave Anna one of my favorite epithets, "jeely klein." At the time I wrote this, I was in a production of _The Music Man_ and it was one of my favorite lines.

There's a second chapter to this, but I like this so much better as a one-shot.


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